How To Say Goodbye To Your Soulmate [With Love]
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Repost from April 2022//
How to say goodbye to your soulmate [with love]
Today, I sit here listening to a piano song that I hold close to my heart.
Twenty-three days ago, I was listening to this song with my partner – my heart was cracked wide open as we sat together, holding each other in a state of awe-inspired bliss. Things had been rocky, but during this moment we both fell straight back into the flow of love.
Today, I sit here with the bittersweet realisation that somehow the Universe knew that day was to be our last sweet moment together – we didn’t know it at the time but I’m grateful that our last day was such a beautiful one.
How long do soulmate relationships last?
Sometimes, not as long as we had hoped.
But we can always come back to love.
the summer of attraction - meeting a soulmate
Last summer, I met one hell of a beautiful soul.
I saw him from afar and said to my friend, Ruby ‘oh my god, look at him!’
It wasn’t just his gorgeous looks that had me in a twist.
It was his energy, his aura and his passion for life; it was as if he was bursting at the seams with light beams – he was magnetic.
Needless to say, I fell fast.
Three months later, I was dropping him at the train station (at the time we were living nearly 100 miles away) and crying all the way home…
I felt so much grief, and then it hit me.
This grief was unexpressed love.
I loved him.
Meeting my soulmate & opening my heart
This person was the first person I had truly loved in nearly six years.
We shared so many crazy adventures, mini holidays, shadow work conversations, open-hearted conversations, deep heated conversations and so much f**king love. It was a whirlwind – it was wild.
Three months after being together, he moved to Cornwall.
We navigated living together in my tiny bedroom for a month, and then he found a house just one minute down the road from me.
I thought he was my person, I thought we were meant to be.
Saying Goodbye to a soulmate
After nine months, as strong as our love was – it didn’t work out.
The past three months had been filled with a push/pull dynamic.
We both had our triggers and fears surrounding love, and together with the seriousness of life and talks of moving in together, it all got too much.
We were both compromising so much of ourselves for each other, that we began to lose sight of ourselves.
I honestly think this was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make in my life, and cowardly – I couldn’t even end it myself. I said that I needed a break from the dynamics that had been playing out and during this time prayed and prayed and prayed for clarity and guidance.
After a week of not seeing each other, we met up to talk things over and the only truthful thing I could say was I needed more time out.
However, time out wasn’t helping either of us and so he stepped up and courageously ripped the plaster off for both of us – we agreed, that we both couldn’t do this anymore.
The Ever expanding heart - soulmates ending
For the past three weeks, my heart has been swirling, stirring, heaving and crying; I have never known such a paradox of sadness and relief.
I miss him, so f**king much.
And at the same time, I know it was all divinely planned.
Through falling in love, I have come to realise that I am petrified of love.
After much meditation and talking with my heart, I realised…
I am so scared of being left, that I am too afraid to love.
This was a huge part of the push and pull dynamic that had been playing out between us – every time I fell a little bit deeper, my nervous system would also freak the f**k out and want to end it all, before it ended me.
soulmate breakup - Letting Love Go to Let the Love Flow
During our week of ‘time-out,’ he was offered a job back where he came from…
100 miles away.
At first, I burst into a flood of crazy tears hearing this news.
I felt the abandonment wound hit hard all over again.
Had I self-sabotaged and made this all happen?!
And now, I realise – this had to happen.
This was the only way I could face my deepest wound.
I had to spend the last nine months falling deeply in love, pushing and pulling, to realise what still needs to be healed. If I had not loved this hard, it would not have been enough for me to reach the point where I realised what still needed to be healed within me.
soulmate relationship - my story, your story, our story
My story is one of so much love, so much longing and so much gratitude.
I am so grateful to this gorgeous guy for loving me though every piece of me.
We both tried really f**king hard to make it work.
And sadly, the Universe has other plans for us both.
We were bought together at a time when we were both in the depths of self-love and healing. And we leave each other, expanding into the next versions of ourselves, with our hearts cracked wide open.
He thanked me for showing him that he was loveable, and I thank him for loving me.
We now have the keys to the deepest, darkest most secretive and s**t-scared parts of ourselves. We understand what it means to love, how to show love, how to receive love and more importantly how to be love.
Even though s**t hit the fan, and things didn’t go to plan – the love will always remain. I sit here with tears in my eyes, in an awe-inspired state; this love was a love that removed my heart chains.
Meeting your soulmate - the evolution
Love is an evolution, and we as people are constantly evolving.
We should not stay with a partner from a state of lack or pain, nor from fear that we will never find love again. It is up to us to show up for us, be true to ourselves and let things fall into alignment on the way.
We cannot control another’s journey, and sometimes it may even feel impossible to control ourselves (especially when feeling insanely triggered!)
However, falling in love is a deeply, gorgeous evolutionary process.
Wherever you are in your love story, fall deeply.
Let yourself be held, be loved and be seen.
And just know, that if things don’t work out:
This was a love to help you heal.
Jadine Lydia x