How to feel better when feeling low [somatic experiencing]
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How to feel better when feeling low: somatic experiencing
Repost from May 2022//
There are hundreds of thousands of books, podcasts, YouTube Videos and other materials out there that aim to guide us to a more ‘positive mindset.’ Whilst these can serve us greatly, there is also something to be said about getting out of the mind and into the body.
Positive Mindset hacks which you may have heard of include:
Stating or writing positive affirmations
Using a positive mantra for the day
Setting goals for the day
Changing your language/self-talk
Visualising success
Starting a gratitude journal
Rewriting Limiting Beliefs
The above mindset hacks can be hugely beneficial for some people, especially when you find one that works for you and practise it consistently.
Most of you reading this have probably tried some form of the above.
However, have you ever had days when you just feel like screaming:
‘I just don’t want to be positive anymore!’
Cause, I know I have.
The Sliding Emotional Scale
Positive thinking is great when you are on the sliding scale somewhere between a neutral and a good mood.
For example, let’s take a look at the chart below…
When we are feeling neutral, techniques such as affirmations, mantras, setting goals and visualising success can launch our state of mind into feeling content, happy and joyous.
When we are already feeling happy, these techniques will then simply amplify our already good mood and make us feel elated!
However, often when we are feeling low, anxious, desperate or wobbly, positive mindset hacks can do more harm than good.
In fact, during times of sadness, grief, anxiety or general wobbliness, positive mindset hacks can actually aggravate and worsen our already wobbly mood.
How many times have you sat attempting to do some form of affirmation, gratitude practise and\or visualising technique, when really all you want to do is throw your hands up in the air and scream?!
When we fail to acknowledge the underlying emotions/sensations in our body, we fail to give it a voice.
Without first expressing our sadness, our grief, our loneliness or confusion we cannot move up the emotional scale to a better feeling/thought pattern.
In fact, often we get stuck and are met with even more resistance to allowing ourselves to move to a better feeling place.
To reduce resistance to feeling better, we must first acknowledge what exists below in the realms of our body.
We can then allow this emotion/sensation to pass through our body and make space for lighter feelings of hope, clarity and joy.
This is also know as somatic experiencing.
What is somatic experiencing?
According to the Oxford Dictionary the word somatic means:
‘relating to the body, especially as distinct from the mind.’
So, often we are taught to work from the mind down; to change our thoughts and feelings so that we can feel better.
However, what happens when we work from the body up?!
Working from the body upwards allows us to experience things on a cellular level; if we can feel into how are body is reacting, breathing, constricting and tensing, we can release blocked emotions.
Ultimately, this creates space for us to feel better things.
A huge part of somatic experiencing is to go deeper into the body, rather than get stuck in the loops of our minds.
This is also known as ‘embodied awareness’ which Peter A Levine, the developer of Somatic Experiencing® sums up nicely…
“To experience embodied awareness, take notice of the underlying sensations that actually inform you about how you feel.
If you were to be asked how you feel when you are stressed or in pain, a common answer might be, “I feel anxious” or “I feel upset.”
It’s important to go further by becoming curious about how you know that you’re feeling anxious or upset.
Is there a tightness or burning that is happening right now inside of you that you are labelling “anxiety” or “upset”?”
how can i use somatic experiencing to feel better?
You can use somatic experiencing to validate your pain and give it a voice.
This will then allow you to drop the resistance that you may be feeling towards engaging in more positive thought patterns.
Recently, I have been using somatic experiencing for two main reasons:
To Process the Ending of my Relationship
To Increase my Financial Abundance
processing a break up through somatic experiencing
For the first couple of weeks of my break-up, I completely numbed out. I didn’t believe it was real, nor did I want to believe it was real.
I simply bottled up all the grief in my body and distracted myself with other things such as friends, nights out and work.
However, a week further down the line I began to feel super resistant to my usual daily ‘feel good’ practises.
I couldn’t visualise anymore. I couldn’t write my gratitude journal anymore. I couldn’t say anymore positive mantra’s about relationships and change.
My body felt full with emotion and by doing to above practises, I was lying to myself – I was not happy. I was f**king heartbroken.
For the past few weeks, I have been carving out 15-30 minutes a day to sit and feel into my body. I could not play the positive mindset game anymore.
I will put some beautiful piano music on, lie down on my yoga mat and feel the sensations of grief, love and loss move through my body.
Sensations I have noticed include: swirling in my heart space, an icky, sicky feeling in my stomach and a heaviness in my lungs.
Usually, this is accompanied by an outburst of tears and heaving lungs.
At first it feels ugly and scary.
However, it continues to surprise me how much better I feel afterwards.
It feels as if there is space in my body and I can breathe again.
After acknowledging and allowing the uncomfortable emotions to pass through me, I then fill my body back up…
I put on some high vibe feel good music and dance around my room like a lunatic – I allow new emotions such as gratitude and joy to flood in and fill my heart centre.
increasing financial abundance through somatic experiencing
A few months ago, I was hit hard my some surprise financial difficulties.
I tried so hard to work through them with a positive mindset, writing abundance & affirmations about wealth all over my wardrobe and reciting them every day.
Whilst, this gave me a little hope – it did not change my situation.
After three months of receiving penalty letter after penalty letter, I decided enough was enough – I needed to feel into this within my body.
I sat down, closed my eyes and felt the sensation of how I was currently relating to money, wealth and income within my body.
Surprisingly, I felt it quickly.
It felt as if my energy field was literally batting away any form of wealth or abundance that was trying to enter my life.
It was as if my body didn’t believe it deserved to receive.
I sat with this sensation day after day, and each day, the batting would subside a little. After a week, it felt as if a tiny hole opened up in my energy field and a small stream of golden light began to shine in.
A month down the line, I sit here with my body and feel a golden stream of light flowing into my body, with the opening growing larger each day.
I realised, I had been holding SO MUCH resistance to receiving financial abundance. Now, whether this was a current limiting belief of mine, or something else, it does not matter…
It does not matter because things began shifting!
This month I have have sold more books than ever, totally cleared my debts, started investing in Index Funds and even bagged a pay rise at my current part-time job.
As you can see, somatic experiencing is a force to be reckoned with.
feel better with somatic experiencing
Positive mindset hacks can be hugely beneficial, especially if used daily and consistently to keep your momentum high on the emotional scale.
However, when you are experiencing low mood, anxiety, fear or feeling wobbly you may want to consider what is beneath the mind…
What is it that your body needs to first express, in order to create space to feel better?
I hope that this post has served you well and if you are currently stuck in a funk, it supports you to move through to a better feeling place.
Love and peace out,
Jadine Lydia x
p.s if you are currently thinking about making a major life decision and need some help to ‘feel’ into the best option, check out my latest journal below…