March 3, 2024

the power of intention: How to create lasting change

The power of intention: How to create lasting change

Repost from August 2022//

Last week, I had a mind-blowing realisation…

For months, I had been trying to create lasting change – and failing.

I had been processing a break-up, sitting in the uncomfortable space of longing and wishing and hoping that things could have worked out differently.

I wanted to become secure in myself, become okay with being single, and live an absolute powerhouse life. But, something was holding me back.

I didn’t know how to create lasting change in myself, and how I related to dating, romance and relationships.

Sat in this space, I felt stuck and stagnant.

I had been trying my best to move on and find the blessings in the situation, but my energy was low, my mood was all over the place and I found myself bursting into tears spontaneously, often.

Until, I realised – that intention was everything

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to return to the festival where I had originally met and fallen in love with my ex-partner.

He was also there and we had the chance to reconnect and talk things out.

I had initially been super anxious about going back to a place with so many memories but to my surprise, something HUGE shifted!

We sat in my van, reading a chapter of ‘The Ripple Effect’ by Lucienne Koops.

We did our old-time thing of randomly flicking to a page and asking…

‘What do we need to know right now?’

Funnily enough, the book landed on a chapter about ‘Emotional Co-dependency’ – how fitting.

We read the chapter together, sighed and realised that most of the points applied to our situation. We laughed at each other as we saw bluntly, the roles we had both been playing out in our relationship.

He then went on an inspired ramble about ‘the intention behind something.’

He shared his recent experience of changing the intention behind his actions in his everyday life and how powerful this experience had been.

Suddenly, the penny dropped and I realised…

An intention can do two things:

It can keep us stuck playing the role of the victim.
It can move us forward into a state of empowerment.

Whoooooooooa! I realised I had been playing the victim role for months.

And, so how was I going to move away from the victim, into a state of empowerment and create lasting change?

By setting myself a new intention.

setting a new intention & healing self-abandonment

I left the festival feeling lighter than I had in a long, long time.

We had a beautiful last afternoon together, laughing, smiling, hugging and feeling more love than we had felt in months.

We left each other, consciously choosing to not get back together at this time.

So, what was the reason behind this shift?!

We changed the intention behind our separation.

For months, since the break-up my intention had been to ‘find someone to look after me.’ This intention came from a place of lack, a place of longing and a place of dis-ease. You could say that by having this intention I was trying to ‘MOVE AWAY’ from a place of pain, loneliness and longing.

I was focusing my attention away from my own power, hoping that another person would fill the space for me. Hoping that someone else would provide the safety, security and care that I so craved.

I felt a deep longing to be ‘loved,’ the intention being that I needed to find someone who would ‘look after me.’ I felt powerless.

After our book reading chat, something clicked.

I felt empowered!

I walked away from the festival with brand new intentions:

I choose to put my own alignment first.

I choose to reflect on what we learnt from each other, to have time out and to go away and do the inner work.

I choose to build a life around me that feels balanced, stable and secure.

I choose to let communication go, so we can let each other grow.

You could say that this new intention was focused on ‘MOVING TOWARDS’ something new; becoming a person who has become secure within themselves, so that next time I enter a relationship, a healthier dynamic is experienced.

I felt a rush of energy surge through my body, as I realised that this new intention was breaking some long-standing, co-dependent patterns.

One in which I self-abandoned everything, just to be loved.

But these new intentions were going to create long-lasting change.

These new intentions made me feel like a powerful human being.

initial intentions vs. empowered intentions

Intention setting can apply in all areas of your life.

Let’s take a look at how we can shift your initial intention to an empowered intention and create long-lasting, positive change.

Here are some examples:

INITIAL INTENTION 1

You want to get fit and lose weight.

Initial intention > I am trying to ‘move away’ from feeling fat.

What actions will this initial intention lead you to take?

> Failing to stick to your diet/exercise regime and beating yourself up.

INITIAL INTENTION 2

You want to change job.

Initial intention > I want to move away from a job that I hate.

What actions will this initial intention lead you to take?

>Accepting any new job that is offered to you, even if it is not exactly what you want because you are so desperate to get out of your current situation.

What does an empowered intention look like?

EMPOWERED INTENTION 1

You want to get fit and lose weight.

Empowered intention > I am moving towards feeling more vibrant and healthy.

What action will this empowered intention lead you to take?

>Wanting to try out new healthy recipes, replacing sugary snacks with healthier options, taking a more curious, fun approach to fitness.

EMPOWERED INTENTION 2

You want to change job.

Empowered intention > I am choosing to leave my workplace to move into a job that feels more aligned and sustainable for me.

What action will this empowered intention lead you to take?

>Applying for job roles that feel aligned and sustainable for you.

‘With anything we would like to change, whether it is becoming more fit, losing weight or wanting a loving connection with our partner, we need an inner desire to make the change irreversible.’ – Lucienne Koops

How can you create lasting change?

I hope this post has supported you to think and feel into your intentions in life. Perhaps, you may like to ask yourself the following two questions:

In what areas of your life are you feeling lack and disempowerment?
Can you rewrite your intentions to create a sense of empowerment, and ultimately long-lasting change?

p.s. do you need clarity around some big life decisions?

Check out my Decision Making journal notebook…

Decision Making Journal > I Make the Right Decisions at the Right Time